Welcome to the listening blog. This month, all links will connect you to recordings rather than written articles.
Would you
ever hire someone to buy a gift for you?
Have you ever given someone an "ironing board"? Or got one?
Is gift giving more trouble than it is worth? What do you think about gifts from
companies? Or the role of gifts in
diplomacy?
In my opinion, there is never a total disconnect between the relationship and the gift. It is just another non-verbal social gesture. When I think of relationships, I think a person’s trust and time are the two most valuable things. The time you take to come up with a gift or how accurately you can guess what the person wants either takes time thinking about it or being observative and spending time with the person. I do have friends that have a “non-gifting agreement” because it is awkward when one puts more care into it than the other. Personally, I disagree with this attitude. When it comes to gifting, I try to put as much time into it as I value the relationship or how I want it to be. It is a good indicator of on what terms you are on with someone. I received an “ironing board” (a flask) once and while I was a bit “salty”, it was a polite indication of keeping the relationship at an “ironing board” level.
ReplyDeleteAs far as culture goes, it is rather a nice touch than something we should be aware of every time. In Vietnam and maybe other Asian countries, trying to decline a gift is considered polite. Of course, the “gifter” should try to insist that they accept the gift, which is the assumed result. I noticed this kind of cultural difference when going out with my Asian friends and Slovak friends. While Slovaks often evenly split the bill, by now I expect to have a friendly fight about who covers the bill.
So in the end, all I take into consideration when choosing a gift is that it has to be personal. It should somehow reflect some bond in the relationship such as a nice memory, inside-jokes or just a sign of appreciation, time (these days often expressed monetarily). It is up to us whether we want to keep the relationship at an impersonal “wine bottle level” or a framed “photograph level”.
Thanks for your comment Marek.
ReplyDeleteI must say I agree with your opinion on gifting. I’ve had more than enough situations where gift-buying has been the hardest thing ever, especially if I wasn’t sure what our relationship could be defined as. A lot of other factors came into play whenever I’m buying someone a gift. Questions like, “What if I’m spending too much money?”, “What if I’m on the completely wrong track with this gift?”, often come to mind, leaving me anxious about the gift itself, sometimes bringing me into indecisive situations. Often I have a large problem with rejecting gifts. Is there even a possible correct way to reject a gift? I often feel so bad when telling my family or friends that the gift I received is to absolutely no use to me. It’s so difficult!
Ths is a comment from Emma:
ReplyDeleteAs for myself, I don't think that the value of the gift represents the value of a relationship. It may sound cheesy, but events like birthdays or Christmas should not be about the gifts. For example, I receive a girly pyjama set every Christmas from my grandfather. Do I like it? No. But am I happy that I received a gift from my grandfather? Of course. He may or may not put much thought into choosing the gift, but it is the gesture that counts. I don’t think that my grandfather loves me any less by buying me such gift. We just have to understand that not everyone takes giving gifts as seriously. If the person loves us, they will find other ways to show it. A gift is simply not the only proof of appreciation.
However, if we want to prevent receiving an "ironing board gift", we should communicate it with the other person. As the speaker said: " We are anxious because the gift can say something about us not them.". But it is the mutual agreement that makes both parties satisfied. We receive a gift that we like, and the giver can feel like they spent their time or money right. For example, as I’m getting older, some of my family members find it difficult to come up with gift ideas for me. After a few farfetched gifts, we have come to an agreement that they will give me a reasonable amount of money and I will buy whatever I need. This agreement has worked for a few weeks now and I must say that I am more than happy.
In the end, I have to say that I don’t mind receiving and "ironing board gift" that much. These types of gifts are most of the time very useful. Socks, shower gels and even the ironing board can seem useless at the time you receive them, but they are very likely to come in handy later. Also, there is always the possibility of re-gifting a gift, you just have to keep track on who gave it to you.
I personally do not like giving or receiving gifts. This is probably because of my aunt, as she enjoys organizing big family celebrations whenever someone from the family has a birthday or at the case of any “important” occasion. She takes giving gifts very seriously and she spends a lot of time thinking about them and picking them. I feel bad attending these parties because I know the gifts I am giving are not as good as the ones I am getting. Afterwards, I can see that my aunt thinks that I do not care about the family enough. Another issue is the money. My aunt always buys expensive gifts and it was hard to reciprocate, as my family is not rich. We had a talk about this last year and decided that we will only give small self-made gifts. It sounds funny, however, because of this I would rather not give or receive any gifts at all.
ReplyDeleteWhat interested me the most about this article were the promotional gifts. As the journalist said: “Nice gifts make us feel special, that’s why they’re also crucial in business.” I never thought about how big of a role for the business marketing they play. After listening to the recording, I immediately thought about my promotional pen. I use it every day. I look at it every day. Other people do as well. As John Birrell said mentioned: ‘’Now it’s not uncommon to have over thousand mugs for a client. That’s one and a half million impressions.” This broadened my understanding of the power of promotional gifts. If I have a business one day, I will test their effectiveness myself.