Lots of articles on parenting this time. I got this one from Ondrej. It’s the last one you can comment on for the second half of March.
What do you think of this parent’s strategies? What kind of strategies did your parents use to make sure you did not spend too much time watching TV or surfing the net? Is interactive technology less harmful? Is it possible to have too much of a good thing, and when do you know when that limit has been passed? What is a normal age for children to be introduced to this kind of technology? Looking at some of the comments on this blog may also be helpful. Feel free to make reference to them.
The author of the article is surely not the only parent pondering about the impacts of modern technology on her children. As every child is different, there are no ultimate rules telling the parents what is right and what wrong when it comes to computers, iPads or TV. But there is one thing that can be said for sure. Unless the child is mature enough to consider the possible negative consequences of extensive electronics usage, the parents should restrict it. And that is exactly what the author of this article decided to do. She compiled a set of rules that her children have to keep. The fact that the youngest kid does not seem be thrilled by them can possibly be explained by the age gap between siblings, as proposed by the writer. I believe that when a child feels alone or has no mate to spend free time with, it starts to look for other possibilities of entertainment. This might not be a general rule, but it is what I experienced in my childhood. When I felt alone, I started reading piles of books. This child started playing with an iPad. How is that different? I extended my vocabulary, this boy is developing his creativity.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, the iPads can develop some useful skills as well as other typical children games such as hide-and-seek. Some people might argue that playing hide-and-seek develops social interacting skills, which are more essential and iPads cannot do that. And I completely agree with that. However, it is not a choice between an iPad and playing with friends. If the child does not use the iPad too often, there is still enough time left for usual children cooperative games. And I strongly believe that the author of the article took the right steps to make this possible for her son. I think that she is doing a great job raising him. She is just concerned, because she does not know if she is doing the right thing. But even though one can never know that for sure, this seems like the right thing to me, and I hope it all works out well for this family in the future.
Few months ago I read a similar article that was dealing with kids and their obsession for iPhones. Wondrously, from both articles, it seems to me that Apple is scoring mainly amongst the youngest. But is the playing on devices such as IPads or IPhones prosperous for the kids in that early age? Does not the whole exposure to the innovative techniques leave the kids at risk? I would say yes, it does. From my point of view, I see the youngest generation as being deprived of natural development of thinking and knowledge. Yes, I agree that some parents might think that they have it under control. They let their kids play with the gadgets only for a short, certain time. Some of the parents even choose the games or application their kids may use. This is exactly what the author of the article chose to do. The point is, however, that I would not consider this restriction a solution to the problem for the following reasons.
ReplyDeleteKids till the age of 7 are not advices to watch TV, let alone to play with computer or other electronic devices. They also are in need of interaction with parents, but unfortunately, parents do not have time because of their busy and flustered lives. That is what many parents in our era forget about and thus let their kids to play with them. After all, it is the easiest way hot to keep their moaning kids busy. If only they knew what harm they cause to their poor little sprigs by allowing them to play so called intellectual games on the gadgets. Naiveté of busy parents lets them believe that these games carry an educational undertone that is developing intelligence of a child. Truth is the opposite in fact. A child’s brain has no ability, or very least, to develop by screen. Instead, screen makes them addicted what suppresses a natural development of intelligence as they lack of social interaction and communication. Moreover, it might cause the health damage from the constant looking to the screen, for example deteriorated sight. So do you still think that kids should play with IPads? Isn’t sacrifice of few minutes in a busy life nothing compared to the spoiled, non-creative kids due to the technology?
In general, as the youngest part of our family, I am for these modern and absolutely useful gadgets. Not only it could help developing your skills, it could also teach you so many practical things you would not found so easily elsewhere. I think that if the “iGadget” is used in a good way /that means the time spend is not enormous and reflex-developing game is “played”/ it could have positive consequences on the child development.
ReplyDeleteThe approach of the parents in this case is absolutely admirable as it was cited in the comments below: “You're not a bad parent at all and I think you've taken a smart approach and are asking the kind of questions most parents don't think to ask.” To be honest, I found it moderately and reasonably strict. I do not really remember what it was like when I was seven, but their system is quit logical. Using device only in non-school days, time of usage is limited and the type of the applications is limited. It seem liked fairly controlled development of their children. On the other hand, it is natural that their son likes it. Because they are 3 in the family and his other 2 brothers are older /so there is a gap/ than he is, their parents do not have enough time to spend with all of them and therefore using his brain instead of just wasting time is very smart choice.
The strategy of parents is definitely good. Not only they want to have their children developed but they also think about the best way of bringing them up. Another strategy /which was also my case/ is to fulfill child´s free time. To choose activities so there is no gap to fill with something unpleasant. But I definitely think interactive technology is something absolutely genial. Too much of everything is not exactly good and can be harmful in some way. People naturally learn from their mistakes. It is always hard to determine when the boundary is exceeded. Small experiment could help: let’s try to take the device from your children for a week. The result should show need of following steps.
To conclude, I would definitely let my children use devices like iPad because they are widely usable but I would deeply control the time spend with it. As it was mentioned in the text: “Moderation in all things.” Because I think that spending time with friends is much better than just playing with electronics but I see nothing bad in usage in a normal way.
It seems to me that the writer of the article tries to excuse her bad parenting. I think that it is not OK if the boy asks for the iPad constantly and even his mother admits that he may be addicted. The way she describes iPad as a magic electronic babysitter is sick. No electronic device can replace an actual parent. From my point of view she is a bad parent if she cannot spend time with her kids and has to use iPad as her replacement.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I also played video games when I was young. But there was one major difference. I and my brother got the PlayStation for a good grade report. I had to work hard and improve my marks. It wasn’t like “here you have your iPad and now be quite please”. The PlayStation belonged to me and my brother as well so we usually played games together. It is also something different, as the boy from the article plays on the iPad alone somewhere in the corner while his two older brothers spend time together.
@Rado
ReplyDeleteIt appears to me that you read the title and first paragraph of the article and based your comment on that, as you even got the gender of the author wrong (Daniel Pogue is in fact a man, not a woman). On the contrary to your opinions, I think that the author of the article has a very good grasp on things. If you had cared to read on, you would have learned that he in fact doesn't allow the child to play the IPad all the time. He has very strict rules about when he can play and when he can’t (only during the week, not at the table etc.) in addition to regulating the games and apps the child can play. I think that this is a very good attitude.
I think that it’s great that there are apps on the IPad app store that can help a child be creative. The music maker and comic strip app could be great to show the parent what the child may be interested in the future (as was pointed out by one of the comments below the article). However, I also agree with another comment which said that the author should try to play these games with the child, as in play a duet or create the films together.
All in all, I think that the IPad could be a great source of both entertainment and education for the child, but as with all things there needs to be a certain limit to them. I think that this parent is doing a good job with regulating how much and what his child plays, and there is no need to worry. Besides, if a kid likes something he will keep asking for it no matter what it is.
@ OLI
ReplyDeleteYou made it crystal clear that you do not think that it’s appropriate to give children IPads and such technology, especially when they’re still very little and are supposed to be engaging in social activities. I certainly agree that the screen may hurt them and that they might develop antisocial behavior, because that’s a logical assumption. However I don’t really understand why do you think that educational applications are useless. I think that if they were created with the intention of teaching something important to the kids, then they have to be of use one way or another. Furthermore I would not say that Apple products have taken a toll especially on children. I am positive that there is a far greater amount of adults who acquire this sort of entertainment. Usually the children who receive IPads are the little spoiled brats who are always pampered by their wealthy parents. Why else would there be a need to buy your child a 500 dollar computing device?
This is the last paragraph of my comment. It somehow didn't get uploaded.
ReplyDeleteMoreover the rules that the parent uses to restrict the usage of iPad seem to me just too benevolent. I was raised on much more strict rules. I consider rules like “no iPad at the table” as a basic thing, not as a strict rule. Statements like this reflect the benevolence of the parent that only tries to excuse his acts. I mentioned only few things I consider wrong about this, there is a lot more to be said like health concerns or psychological impact.
@ DUD
ReplyDeleteSentence " Wondrously, from both articles, it seems to me that Apple is scoring mainly amongst the youngest." was meant to be quite ironic and metaphorical.
@Rado
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion you have just committed the ad hominum fallacy. Probably you did not read the article completely because your ideas do not really correspond with the content of the article itself. Firstly, the author is not a woman (what should change nothing in our equivalent world ). Secondly, he is not trying to excuse his parenting, he is just describing his situation and asking whether he act goo different or bad (as you also mentioned – he is admitting that the child is addicted – therefore he is looking for solutions). That is something different. In a matter of fact, he is very smart and reasonable when he is not thinking only about himself but also about consequences of his proceeding.
On the other hand I do not think that father is just using the iPad as babysitter. We (for now) do not know what it is to have 3 children and work at the same time. With high probability I can assume that it is not easy at all. It is surely better to spend time with brothers but when there is such a difference, it is not so simple. What is more, the child is not just playing video games, he is developing his skills indeed. There is a difference between playing games and “playing games”. In some way it could be profitable(and not just waste of time).
What to say about your childhood – you had quite strict rules. But I think it depends on the era and location in which you live. You know, Slovakia in 2000 and America in 2010 is a bit different. People are different and therefore the methods they use for raising up children is different. However, there are not any general rules for that.
To conclude, your ideas are not wrong, but you should consider circumstances. You could look not only at negatives sides but consider positives as well.
@ oli
ReplyDeleteI can only say that I totally agree with you. There is no way I could say it better. It is striking how many people here cannot understand that it is inappropriate for that young children to watch TV and play with an iPad. I would only add that not only these educational games don’t educate at all and the kids damage their sight, but also we have to take psychological impact on the kids into account. If they were to play with electronic gadgets instead of their parents or other kids they will probably become more individual. The kids can even have problems with social interaction in later age. I have to agree with you that if parents sacrificed few minutes of their busy life, the children will gain a lot more than they can ever earn from any kind of a gadget.
@ Michal
ReplyDeleteAs you said in your blog comment, too much of everything can be harmful. And playing on the iPad has the tendency to grow into an addiction. It is good for you if you play on iPad because there are lots of clever apps that can improve your various skills. But it is hard to stay not addicted, because one does not know where exactly the border between good playing and addiction is. It is same with other addictive things, for example, drinking or smoking. It could be healthy if you drink a tiny amount of alcohol occasionally, but it is deadly to drink till you faint every day. But when parents could handle with the menace of addicted children and do their best to prevent them from addiction, buying an iPad could be very beneficial for the children. Therefore the strategy to fullfil child’s free time seems to me like an excellent idea, and when I look at you and I see a healthy human being, I think the strategy actually works.
Tomas Langer