Are women
condemned for displaying strong emotion (or not displaying enough emotion) more
than men are? Clinton was often
criticized for her lack of emotion. How
has Caputova fared? What do emotions (or the lack of them) tell us about
credibility –if anything?
"Women, do not apologize for your feelings." That is a statement that accurately depicts exactly what I will argue in my comment. This article deals with women in general about the problem of not showing enough emotion or showing too much emotion. However, I would like to address the same issue but on a global and general scale applicable to every human being.
ReplyDeletePeople say "don't be what the world tells you to be", but in my opinion often times it's just a cliché, but when it comes to big decisions whether to conform to society or not people simply stick to what is considered to be "ok" because they are too afraid to hear or see reactions from other people. The fear of not being accepted is so deeply rooted into us people that it is sometimes virtually impossible to act otherwise. Now this does not imply that every single person is a sheep. We may start thinking as to why people want to conform. Well, that's simple; it's comfortable. It's comfortable to be like everyone else because you don't get weird looks, or challenges that a person would normally come to if they were different than others.
In any case, if a person is so scared to be different than what is the norm, then that is nothing far from being a prison cage.
Tom,
DeleteI'm glad that you generalized it to all people, not just women. People are indeed afraid of being different because they think it might cause them to get socially rejected, which is a very unfortunate and limiting mentality. Some of the most fulfilling things I've ever done stemmed from not caring what others might think. But since the article talks about this in the context of gender, I feel the need to emphasize something important: men are also condemned for displaying emotion, and it does more harm than people might think. When boys are told "man up" or "boys don't cry", they might grow into adults that don't know how to get psychological support. Statistics comparing male and female suicide rates illustrate this perfectly.
To begin with, emotions are arguably the most influencing factor in all our decisions and emotions also influence our behaviour to a significant extent. Since the time immemorial women have been considered the more emotionally driven gender which has caused bigger emotional freedom which has benefits as well as negatives in society. As mentioned in the article, “Women are considered to have greater freedom of emotional expression without concern of social consequences.”
ReplyDeleteHowever, society is facing several issues because of the general belief that women display emotion more than men. “Throughout history in the western world, female displays of emotion have been considered to be pointless and a hindrance to the “reasonable” society around them.” Significantly, many sexual assault victims have not come forward because no one would take women seriously because of their gender. In this case, the fact that women are not taken seriously just because of displaying a higher level of emotion is preposterous. In addition, as Tom mentions in his comment women should not apologize for their emotion.
On the other hand, there definitely are situations in which emotions and their influence on our decisions should be limited. A situation that requires objective judgement can be considered an example of such a situation.
In conclusion, discrimination against women because of their gender and the level of displaying emotion is unacceptable. In addition, there certainly are situations when the role of emotion should be limited.
As @Tom mentioned, hiding our emotions is a problem for all people. Since childhood, boys are taught to be tough men and – mainly in the western world – girls are led to be strong independent women. Exposing our weaknesses and vulnerable sides is socially unacceptable because it can be used against us and it gives a reason for other people to judge us.
ReplyDeleteHowever, we will never be accepted by everyone. There will always be someone who will want to hurt us in some way and take advantage of a sensitive situation. Then, in order to make ourselves appear bullet-proof and perfect to the outside world, we build imaginary barriers in our heads to avoid rejection and disrespect. But this useless avoidance and unwillingness to confront our feelings also keeps us from respecting and accepting ourselves by us. Self-love is very important if we want to reach the ability to connect with other people who can support us and help us to overcome our hard times and reciprocally, receive help from us as well.
In my opinion, the author’s attitude towards her expression of her emotions is very selfish. She “didn’t even cry in front of her friends”, so she hid one of her parts from them and therefore, she didn’t allow them to get to know her on a deeper level. True friendship, or relationship in general, cannot be developed if we apologize for being ourselves and don’t let others experience also uncomfortable situations with us. There will always be the “risk of receiving the title of crazy bitch” or pantywaist. But from whom? From people who don’t respect us anyway, who judge us instead of listening to us and who always find a way how to cause pain. On the other hand, our friends and relatives are not the ones who would hurt us if we open up to them, so we shouldn’t be afraid of such exposure.
I should be very glad that my friends never turn their backs on me. Yes, I took the risk of being judged, but eventually, I was able to separate those who cared about me and the ones who never want to see my tear-stained face. I think if I wouldn’t express myself and my emotions to my friends, I would end up much worse as I see some of my peers with a similarly difficult family situation - they don’t go to school, they spend their time doing different harmful activities and they damage themselves both physically and mentally. Due to their segregation and secretiveness, their friends pulled away and then, they didn’t get the help they needed. And everything could be prevented by a simple solution - just don’t pretend and don’t act appropriately at any price because it can be high.
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