Is having a
child who is different than you or being different than your parents a
handicap? What can parents do to make
this situation better for all concerned?
Does society (or Slovak society in particular) discriminate against
strongly extroverted children, or is it tougher on those who are shy?
In my opinion, having a kid that is different can even be beneficial once the parents know how to handle certain situations. The article mentions several tips for parents that have trouble keeping up with their children. For instance, establishing rules is crucial in raising a child. For me, the main benefit of having a child that is different from its parents is the fact that parents can truly learn a lot from such an experience. Example provided in the article is extremely suitable for this situation. Extroverted child can influence the parents to be more extroverted or the child can teach them how to understand such people.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, in Slovakia majority of adolescents are extroverts therefore it may be more difficult for more introverted individuals. I consider myself to be more of an introvert and I must say that sometimes it can be truly difficult for us, introverts. It is not that much of an discrimination against the introverted people but I would say the the main issue with being an introvert in Slovakia is the feeling of being different. It doesn’t have to be such an issue in countries that are more introverted from their nature. However, we should not be ashamed of who we are. It does not have to necessarily be a disadvantage to be different.
In conclusion, having a different kid is definitely not a handicap it can even be a beneficial experience for parents. There are ways which can make the whole process of raising a child easier.Also, Being an introvert in Slovakia can be challenging but you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are.
Matej Šándor
Matej,
DeleteI cannot agree with your argument that majority of adolescents from Slovakia are extroverts. From my experience, most people are somewhere in the middle and there are just a few people who are really extroverted or introverted. In my opinion, it is equally difficult for real extroverts as for introverts because people just don’t like extremes. Surely, it can be difficult for introverts to adapt in a new environment and find friends, but they don’t usually need that attention from people, so it is not a big deal for them if they don’t find any friends. On the other hand, I knew one boy from my previous school and many people didn’t like him just because he was too extroverted and wanted to talk with people more than it would be comfortable for them.
Raising kids is challenging in every way and having a child who is different in a “concentration of interest on the external object” is definitely one of the biggest challenges. It is up to a parent if they accept it or not, so the only question is: Is it beneficial for parents? Of course, because going out of your comfort zone is always beneficial and it can also help you to better understand people of different nature.
Growing up as a shy kid in Slovakia was far from easy. I wanted to go to a playground, but there were too many people. I ran away when I had to talk to someone. I might not have been where I am today if my mother was not an extrovert. She saw how introverted I was and tried to understand me. She guided me and helped me overcome my shyness. It was hard, but I realized that if I do not ask for certain things myself, no one else will. I remember begging her to get me a candy when they were giving out candy. She refused and told me to ask for it myself if I really want it. I don’t even want to imagine what my life would be like if she was a shy introvert like me.
ReplyDeleteMy point of view is that living in a Slovakia is harder for shy people. I would say this applies to most of the European countries. Extroverts are more likely to be liked by other people because they are more sociable. They are more outspoken and confident so it is easier for them to communicate. However, we are all different and it is important to understand ourselves as well as other people.
In conclusion, I believe that having a child with a different nature is beneficial for both the parent and the child. The writer of the article should not be all that worried because what really matters is to understand each other.
"...we aren't required to change the fabric of our beings to raise well-adjusted kids." Moreover, I would argue that doing otherwise is next to impossible and, most importantly, unwanted. Parents are not actors to pretend to be their children's best friend no matter what. Parents are to be honest about themselves and let their children be who they truly are. After all, children, just as any other human beings, have this ability to identify the personality of their parents (not only their parents, anybody), so any attempt to pretend to resemble your children's personality is useless anyway. Also, at the other end of the spectrum, when children get, personalitywise, reshaped by their parents to possess their parents' personality traits does not work either.
ReplyDeleteI personally know a six year old boy, whom I met at the primary arts school which we both attend, who is an extrovert and his mother, who is an introvert. But I believe I am an eyewitness to a happy family, who achieved a part of their well-being just by putting ideas such as those suggested by the article into practice. Firstly, he is learning to play the piano. The joy that he exudes when playing is just amazing. Plus, school-organized public concert, where he gets to play in front of quite a large audience, is just a cherry on top. Secondly, he goes swimming every week. There he can release all the energy, and later at home, he is much calmer, more composed and keen on doing activities that are more natural to his mum as well. This way, his dopamine rush originates from various activities and his mum is happy that she is raising a young extrovert.