Here is a timely article given the recent
referendum. However, I think the
focus of the article is more on the racial aspect of this family than on the
fact that both parents are women.
Should potential parents take race into account when adopting
children? How can we learn from this
woman’s experience?
Indian-white lesbian couple, to add the oddness there is a bigger age difference between them. And to be even more different from regular families, they adopted a black child. It sounds really unconventionally, because it’s not the kind of family we usually see in the supermarket or at the playground. But does that make them any worse? Does it make them a social experiment? Or should we feel proud of them that they saved unwanted black kid? NO! We should be proud of them because they share love, because they are a family and no one should observe them or try to fit them into a category. That’s wrong.
ReplyDeleteNishta, the author of the article says, that when her partner Jill, goes out with their son, Shiv, people thank to Jill for adopting and taking care of Shiv. She adds, that no one ever said that to her. She explains that it’s because she looks like a potential real mom of Shiv, if she had a black husband. But what does it show it to us? That we don’t appreciate moms that gave birth. Why? Because it’s too ordinary, and it doesn’t seem like you are actually helping someone. Crazy right?
Potential parents should take race into account to certain extant. If you live in a town, where your kid would be bullied because he is the only one that is different, I guess it would be a good choice. Yes, I know that it would be nice to fight against bad kids and show them that "different” doesn’t mean bad. But on the other hand, you don’t want your kid to be traumatized, because he don’t see any other people like him.
So it all matters on conditions, I would say. But honestly, as mentioned in the article, I don’t think that our society is post-racist. At all.
We can learn from this woman’s experience, that being other is definitely hard in this world full prejudices and judgments. All we can do is just be happy the way we are, even if it means being tagged as “other” by government or society. However being yourself, and loving people you honestly care about is much more important than any people’s annoying questions.
To summarize my comment, I think you can truly love and take the best care of baby you didn’t give birth to. Your family doesn’t have to fulfill standards, or someones ideas, it has to be about real and unconditional love. So I would have said 3 times no to referendum, because this article proved that homosexual couple can raise a child.
Firstly, I must admit that most of the articles Mr Lindbloom has ever uploaded seem too American or foreign to me - they cannot be applied to the Slovak society. Imagine the couple from the article came to Slovakia. In America, Nishta with Shiv mostly gets questions like: "Is that your baby?" or "Are you his mother?". Or in worse cases, the strangers directly speak their minds without any empathy: "You don't look anything like your mama!". In Slovakia, I bet, they would not get any inappropriate comments, the people would just keep on staring at them, giving them nasty looks and criticizing them in their minds. In America, they would be shown disapproval right away. In Slovakia, they would discover the disapproval after some time when they would want to interact with people, and might begin to feel rather unwelcome in our controversial Slovakia. My question is - which of these would be a better situation? I believe it is, of course, a lot easier for such an anomaly (yes, I consider it as an anomaly) to live in America, as Slovakia is not quite used to it. But would it not be better without a need for "f*** off note cards" or having to pay attention to how you express yourself?
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I really am fond of such a rarity. I believe it can help the child in future life to rule out racism and become "colorblind", because we live in the 21st century and racism should now only be a concern of the past. The reality is different, just like the author ironically expressed: "But yeah, we totally live in a post-racial society." But in my opinion, the existence of such families is essential on the road to dispense with racism and to show everyone that despite our color, we are all alike. That is why I disapprove of the author taking into account the number of black kids at preschool when choosing one. "I mean, the only way they're going to get more black kids is if parents of black children send their kids there, right?" This is the philosophy how the parents should be thinking, as kids at such age do not separate other kids according to their rase. Therefore, they should be put among all the different kinds of people at the earliest age possible, so that in the future the kid has no reason to question the color of itself or anyone else. That is how you become colorblind.
Lastly, I got very furious when I read what Nishta replied to comments on Facebook: “He’s such a charmer—the ladies better watch out,” they say. (And to which I reply—“Or the gentlemen!”) This seems to me as if she was immediately counting on with the possibility of Shiv becoming gay. That is of course affected by her sexual orientation, but because she is like that does not mean her adopted son has to be like that and that she should promote this idea publicly. I support same-sex couples in being able to take care of children. However, for me, their duty is to bring up the child like any normal heterosexual couple would. I do not think they should be telling the child about what it is like to be homosexual and that it is perfectly normal if it happens. Because if the child is taught about it from early age and often, the kid might take it as the normal way of life and then try to become homosexual without thinking of other possibilities, just because its parents are like that. This is a huge argument of people who are against homosexual couples raising children. From my point of view, if they try to raise the child as normally as possible, I do not see any problem with them. But as soon as they behave as if encouraging the child to become gay, that is really wrong. Everyone should discover their sexuality by themselves, without help from anyone.