Hi. Welcome to the blog for my IB English B class at Jur Hronec High School in Bratislava, Slovakia. Below you will find links to other websites and discussion questions. My students are required to comment on one of these postings every month and also respond to each other's comments. Feel free to add your two bits, but be aware that all comments are monitored before being posted.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Carrying the child that is and isn’t yours
A rather long and detailed account, but so much to talk about here. Because of career and other demands (more men are also postponing marriage or not marrying at all), more women are becoming mothers or wanting to become mothers later in life. What should they do about "the ticking clock"? What would you do if you were in this woman’s situation? Is this option better or worse than adoption? Should egg and sperm donors be able to protect their anonymity? Does it surprise you that the Czech Republic has such a good reputation for this type of procedure? Finally, how important is it that parents and children share genes?
It is fairly understandable why so many women postpone marriage until they are quite old. I’m saying marriage, because there is only a few women who wouldn’t mind getting pregnant and having children without being married first. The main reasons for such postponement, as mentioned by the woman in the article are lack of a suitable partner that they can rely on and imagine their future with, career and utter dedication to work, the craving for life’s joys before they get occupied with raising children and so forth. It has been many years since the only occupation a woman had in her whole life was to bear children and ensure the existence of next generations. Now it’s not so much about the oncoming generations as it is about the need to have a baby of their own, to have someone close to them, someone that is entirely dependent on them.
ReplyDeleteI think that every woman has definitely every right to chose whether and when, she wants to have a child. Although they have to bear in mind that with every year, their chances of getting pregnant shrink until they are left completely useless and unable to carry a child. As for me, I don’t really believe that there is such a thing as a biological urge to have a baby, especially in a certain age, but then again I’m only 18 and don’t know much about these feelings. However, when talking about the donor eggs, I cannot but agree that it is a very effective and smart solution to pregnancy problems. There is practically nothing that is unnatural about it, The egg is completely normal, as is the sperm, and together they make a normal and natural human being that gradually grows inside it’s future mother. I think the woman in the article overreacted to a lot of factors at once. And what about telling the truth to the child when they’re old enough? I think that they have a right to know, after all it is not such a big deal. In my opinion, their real mother is and always will be the one that raised them and they are going to see it as such as well.
If I had to compare donating an egg to an adoption, I think that they are both acceptable, but adoption is a little more risky. When having received a donor egg, the fetus grows inside the future mother, feeling like it is her own already. It’s really quite similar or even equivalent to being pregnant with your own eggs. The child is born and the unbreakable bond is formed. The end. When adopting, it depends on the age of the child, the younger they are, the stronger the bond that will form between the adoptive mother and the adopted child. I think that since the mother has considered adopting and has decided to take a chance at it, she is already ready to give them all her love. It would then follow that she would treat the child as her own, regardless of their differences.
@Majka:
ReplyDeleteLike you, I think that inability of conceiving children is a very common problem of today’s generation because of the reasons you stated. Young people are looking for certainty in their careers and love lives and it results in an increase of the average age of having children. I would, however, not say that when they finally start craving for a child the drive inside them is the wish to have someone completely dependent on them. I believe it might be more about wanting to pass on what one has learned in life, and about leaving a trace in the world for when once passed away. But again, what do I know at the age of 17 about this? I might be quite wrong.
Moreover, I can, unlike you, partly relate to the concerns of the author of the article. Surely, women are getting pregnant with donated eggs all the time today, you might think, but each single case is different and I understand that the women will think about it excessively. Admittedly, I agree with your claim that the woman from the article overacted to some factors, such as the attractiveness of her future child, but I still understand that she considered everything about this way of conceiving. It is a little bit comparable with getting married: people are getting married every day, yet still find it a big deal when it happens to each one of them. I think you made some good points about this article, however, I believe you might have underestimated a few things that are important when it comes to a decision as huge as the one of having children.
@ Majka and Petra
ReplyDeleteI don’t know if it is that I was raised in a conservative family or that I’m an old-fashioned guy, but I think that every child should be conceived in a natural way and should have both a mother and a father. However, I do understand that some women are not so fortunate to meet a guy of their dreams that would make a great dad, but sometimes the expectations for men are a bit too high. Not everybody can have a great job and earn tons of money and still be able to be at home, care about the child and their partner. Not every guy can be both macho, as women love those, and still be an emotionally-open person that is able to cry at some goofy romantic movie. Some women just set the bar too high and then they end up being alone and have to find other ways to conceive a child.
But every woman has her rights and they can decide to do whatever pleases them. Career and social status may seem very important in this shallow world however, they must not forget that a child is what will come to you when you are at your deathbed. Your boss, your co-workers or some of your friends won’t even remember you, but a child will come running and it will be there by your side for the whole time, provided you have raised him well. I guess what I want to say is that having a child with your life partner is still the best way to be happy and it is not by any means old-fashioned.