Hi. Welcome to the blog for my IB English B class at Jur Hronec High School in Bratislava, Slovakia. Below you will find links to other websites and discussion questions. My students are required to comment on one of these postings every month and also respond to each other's comments. Feel free to add your two bits, but be aware that all comments are monitored before being posted.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Not a natural mother
This is an article about how a mother decided to give up custody of her kids after divorce (and is catching some flack for it). What does her act say about the motherhood instinct which women supposedly have? As gender roles change, do you think this will become more common? Is this mother irresponsible for having children in the first place and for now leaving her ex-husband to do the difficult work, while she pursues her career, makes friendly visits and takes the kids on fun outings? Or is she to be admired for doing what she thinks is the best thing for her and her children, in spite of society’s expectations?
In the beginning, I assume I had the same feelings as the majority of readers. I wondered how Rizutto could have left her two children aged 5 and 3, when they were in a period when they needed their mum to be handy any time.
ReplyDeleteSecond thing that made me gape was her attitude towards having kids in the first place, and then eventually having them just because her (ex) husband assured her he would take care of them instead of her. I can understand that since she loved him she would act according to his desires but I would say it was quite irresponsible of her. If I knew I wouldn’t want to take care of my children full time, I wouldn’t even have them. This is not mentioned in the article but I assume that although it was probably quite a tough decision between her husband and her not wanting children, in the end she decided to start a family for the sake of her marriage. In the end, even that collapsed and her effort didn’t bring fruit, quite the opposite. At least we can see that it is unwise to act in contradiction with our beliefs.
Another thing that surprised me was that the birth of her children did not change a single thing inside her and she still wouldn’t like to take care of them the way they would deserve from their mother. And even though she has stayed in touch with them and plays with them and helps with their homework, there is another thing that Rizutto hasn’t thought of.
Having a separate father and separate mother living in two different houses could be quite weird for young developing children. They don’t get the image of a fine functioning family and they can’t see the love between their two parents which I would say is crucial for children.
However, I admit that the article managed to convince me that Rizutto is not such a bad mother after all. In her situation, it was probably the best thing she could have done and the kids seem to be quite fine and satisfied at this time. Even though their mother doesn’t have a temper for the tough work, she still spends time with them and they play with each other. She could have also moved far away but she chose a place right down the street. As Rizutto puts it, she didn’t just duck tail and leave. And just as the author of the article says, we solve the riddle by finding the equation that works best for us and our children. And Rizutto has done that. I am not saying she is now a perfect mother, but in her situation it worked out quite well.